04 October, 2014

2014 , First entry ^_^


Yuhuuuu , ni rekod paling lama tak update entri . hahaha .
Sorry yerr adik kakak abang semua . Bukan malas , tapi a lot things happen in this year .
Nak cerita , boleh berair anak mata baca nanti . Comfirm .

Okayy , before that . mohon sedekahkan Al-Fatihah dulu .


Thanks . Its for my dad , Mohd Adam B. Abdullah @ Lai Lee Onn , pass away on second week of Ramadhan (08.07.2014) due to Acute Coronary Syndrome (triple vessel block) . Allah loves you more daddy T_T

Let's begin the story ,

Before this , I'm working as a Personal Trainer , kat satu gym ni area Kota Damansara . On my last week working there (end of April, 2014) ,  i receive call from my sister , inform that my dad admitted to ICU and its already two weeks he's been there . Hang up je call , automatic berduyun airmata ni turun .  I don't care , who's coming to the gym and see me crying .  I tak kisah dah . Hati anak mana tak sedih , bapak sendiri kot . Sesapa yang rapat dengan gua dari ex ke bf ke kengkawan mahupun ke candy crush gua , they knows how i really love my dad .

I decided to keep it by myself . Konon nak prove gua ni minah kental , simpan semua masalah sorang - sorang . Until satu hari ni , i decide to quit the job early , then adik gua pesan before gua balik sarawak nanti , gua beli this oat . entah . gua pun lupa nama oat tu ape . Ngam - ngam plak masa tu is my off day ,  keluar je dari simpang rumah , i saw my client waiting for taxi . when i ask him where are you going , dia cakap nak pergi giant . same destination , tak salah kalau nak tumpangkan sekali . Lagipun mamat ni dah ada awek plus dia pun kenal sangat lerr sape balak gua .

Nak dijadikan cerita , on the same day jugak , gua dibreakkan . Sebabnye , gua tumpangkan mamat tu .  Sedihhhh habaq hang . Yess , my mistake , but let me explain . Understand my situation first .  Paling gua tak tahan , siap heboh-heboh kat client lagi tu . Its true , i can act strong in front of people , keep smiling at their face , but inside of me , feel like i don't want to live anymore . Your the only guy i have, i really need that moment . Suppose stay next to me , not killing me . Lepas gua blah , never cross in my mind to go that gym anymore .

Bila meeting up my dad , i cannot shows I'm weak . If i cry in front of him , mesti dia lagi sedih . Balik je rumah , keep crying ,  crying , crying , crying , crying , crying , crying sampai naik bengkak dah mata . Keep praying Ya Allah engkau sembuhkanlah ayahku Ya Allah . Aku rindu bercakap dengannya Ya Allah . and Allah love him more . When the day come , I'm the last one who knows my dad pass away . Always the last one . Maybe I'm his favorite daughter , so dia taknak bagi i sedih kot . I don't know what to say (even masa menaip ni pun dah sebak , how much i miss him right now :'( ) .


Mamat yang aku tumpangkan before this really help me a lot . On the way to the airport , I throw everything to him . Tak kisah dah muka hodoh sekalipun nangis i need to split all this thing out . From A - Z . Masa nak check-in , dia siap cakap lagi your face really look like boiling fish ball . Feel so lonely , half of me is really gone .

After all of that , its not easy to continue life as normal . Need someone to be next to me . I lost someone so important in my life . Look normal during day time but at night keep doing stupid stuff : Telan panadol banyak-banyak , stay almost 2 hours in swimming pool during raining , starving , serious jadi tak waras kejap . I'm appreciate i have a friend that keep in touch with me during that "sewel" seasons .  And its not easy also for me make everyone knows what exactly happen to me . Feel 1% relieve . huhhh . Now, anything that i do , everywhere i go ,  this guy must be with me coz he the only witness for all the stuff that happen to me .

Thanks ya habibi

That's all for today . Thanks for reading
May Allah bless your day . Aminnnn